So after the birth of my baby we were scheduled to be discharged the next day until…
After birth my son and I both had complications. I lost a great amount blood leading me to get a transfusion and I was on ‘walk watch’ (meaning I couldn’t get out of bed unassisted) for a while. I was pretty out of it now that I look back on things. I couldn’t nurse as often as I wanted or needed to. Typing this, I still have some guilt.
My son had low blood sugar issues, we just couldn’t keep it up and, thus, had to be admitted to the NICU. They thought he would need IV fluids (he never did, thank God). That was probably the most pain I ever felt. Before the nurse took him down, I prayed over him, told him how much I love him, to be strong, and never stop fighting.
You see, when I was 20 weeks pregnant, God put it on my heart to pray for NICU moms and NICU babies. He knew I could never fathom knowing that would be us. Every day I prayed for those sweet mamas to have faith and trust God and I prayed for those precious babies to keep fighting and never give up. Every day for 19 weeks and 5 days.
Fast forward and it’s up to me to have faith and trust God and up to my baby boy to be strong and fight.
Yes, it was very scary- down right terrifying but it did so many great things for our family.
We were fortunate enough to be placed in a nesting room and could be with him, with a bit more privacy, every second of every day. We focused on nothing but us. There wasn’t any mail to check. No beds to make. No dishes to wash. Just us being together, learning all about him, learning about us as a family, focusing on our baby’s needs.
I love the NICU and our time there because:
1. It granted me membership to a group of women who will always understand the pain, the fear, the anxiety and the joy of our experience there. I am a NICU mom.
2. It made me realize and eternally appreciate the people in my corner. The people who support me. They people who love me, and now, my son.
3. It brought out my mama bear. I am not a timid person, but with all that was happening, it was just easy and made sense to follow instructions and do what we were told, how we were told. That is until, I felt it wasn’t working. Things needed to be done differently, starting with me. I used my voice and didn’t settle.
4. It made me an advocate. I still pray for NICU moms and babies but I now act. I support events that benefit our NICU. I donate to March of Dimes. I tell my story to empower others.
5. It made me realize schedules and sleep training and whatever else I knew we would do aren’t important. I’m here to love and nurture my kid. That’s it.
There is no way I could thank the NICU staff for their care and concern of our family. Those nurses are the best. There’s no way I could thank my husband for keeping his smile, being positive, and leading me back to God’s plan when I didn’t. I guess that’s the most important reason I’ll always love the NICU, I fell more in love with husband and love my son more than I could ever imagine.