My Birth Story, squared. 

Alright Kiddos, settle in. 
Some of you remember my birth story with my oldest son, James. After reading this, you will truly understand how every birth is different. 

Let start from the top, shall we? My pregnancies were the same until 30 weeks and then this one went left. I had pain galore that, of course, I couldn’t do much about as it was intestinal (in opposition to the back pain and nausea I had with James). I was also way over pregnancy. Way. Over. 

Stupidly, I believed lies and utter deceit like “all second babies comes faster and have a shorter labor.” Lies and deceit I tell you. At 39 weeks, I hadn’t even dropped. No dilation was taking place and this kid was literally hugging my placenta with no intent to vacate. So, instead of being passive I did everything I could… everything…

-Massaging and diffusing Clary Sage Oil

-Walking

-Sex

-Squats

-Bouncing on that stupid ball

-Eggplant Parmesan 

-Pineapple (an entire produce lot)

-Spicy Food

-Castor Oil (3 disgusting doses)

And guess what I got? Nothing. A bunch of nothing…until…

Contractions!!!! Hard, fast and regular contractions. #babyontheway They lasted for an hour or two.  Then they went away…after I called my husband and called a sitter…just great. 

Then, much later that night, could it be? Would it be? Yes!!!! Sweet Lord, YES! More contractions. Consistent, close together (4 mins a part) contractions and I lost my mucus plug! Woohooo! My contractions were never that close with James so off to triage we went with hope and expectation in our hearts only to find out I was only 1.5 cm dilated. We walked like our lives depended on it for 2 hours. I even beared down and pushed with contractions and then… nothing. “No change unfortunately” according to the nurse. I’ve never felt defeat like that. I cried a quiet, whole-body-shake sob while my husband held me and told me it was going to be ok. I did get one victory out of that night-muscle relaxers because ain’t nobody got time for meaningless contractions. 

So, basically any time I moved contractions would ramp up in intensity and in quantity. If I laid on my side I could keep them 10-20 minutes apart. For 2 days this was my life. It was miserable. I was miserable. Fast forward to Christmas morning-a contraction woke me up at 6 a.m. that made me wake up my husband. Laying down couldn’t stop the contractions or keep them as far apart. Moving made them way more intense and close together. I laid down as much as I could. Around 7 p.m., they had a mind of their own. They just kept coming, anywhere from 4 to 15 minutes apart. Then, just one hour later, a contraction came that I couldn’t just breathe through and had to moan. Then, another one, same thing, except a gush of fluid I wasn’t familiar with came and kept coming. My water broke. 

My gut told me I need to leave now. With James, my water broke about 20 minutes before I was crowning and I live about 20 minutes from the hospital. My mind, always one for tricks, said “it’s ok. You’ve got time. You’ve got this.” I listened to my mind. 

10 minutes later when I couldn’t even walk because the contractions were so close together and I felt all the pressure, I listened to my gut. In the same 10 minutes, my husband somehow got James ready for bed and asleep as well himself dressed. Then, he got me dressed, gave the neighbors watching James (on the monitor) the run down and we were off. I couldn’t sit in the seat. I said to my husband, “Babe, turn on the hazards. This is your NASCAR moment.” I still don’t know how many lights he ran. 

As if that wasn’t enough, now, let’s cue in some drama. Again, contractions on contractions on contractions, y’all. I couldn’t walk so a nurse had to come get me in a wheel chair. I couldn’t talk. Just screams. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t focus. Then, she checked me and I was only 3.5 cm. Then, I could talk. “Give me IV drugs. I want the drugs!” 

Some minutes later, I’m in a room in L&D and get checked again, I’m 7.5-8 cm and wouldn’t ya know it, moving too fast to get drugs. Now, I move too fast??? 3 days of labor and now we move fast. So, naturally, I assume this is the end and I’m going to die. No one can make it through this. Something is gravely wrong the medical staff just hasn’t discovered it yet, I think. I felt like this was moving so quick to save it’s own life. Knowing my fate, I then throw up. Bless Nurse Chelsi who caught it just in the nick of time. 

PAUSE: Let’s talk about how I wanted this birth to be so freaking zen. I had my essential oils and diffuser packed, a wonderful playlist and my affirmations ready to go. I was going to be a happy patient the nurses delighted with. The one they didn’t have to worry about. Y’all…

PLAY: The nurse checks me again…”She’s at 9.5. Do you feel pressure, Tenikca?” That question was posed at the start of another 4-5 minute contraction. I wanted to say something really smart like “You can’t tell that I feel a lot of things right now with a freaking freight train moving at full speed through me?” but all I could get out was “WHY WONT IT STOP?” 
PAUSE: Can y’all imagine contractions lasting 4-5 minutes?? I can’t and I went through it. Also, they were literally off the charts. I knew death was chasing me and closing the gap. 

PLAY: Then I felt a different pressure. I’d already pushed 3 times without permission. The nurses said I could push with the next contraction, that, of course, was on the heels of the last one so I did and then HOLY RING OF FIRE!!! Somehow, because this contraction won’t stop neither do I and I keep pushing. Then, I push again. I feel like everyone is telling me to stop. They keep calling my name and trying to get me to look at them-the nurses, my husband, they are all trying to tell me to stop but there was no way. If I’m gonna die it needs to happen sooner rather than later, I thought. My husband gets my attention and says very clearly, “Pull him out!” Ohhhhhhh. That’s why everyone was calling my name. 

On Christmas night, at 9:54 p.m., less than 1 hour after we got to the hospital, less than 2 hours after my water broke, with ‘Make You Feel My Love’ playing, I delivered Jude Lawrence. 

Then, I engaged in casual banter with the nurses. I apologized. They were full of grace. The doctor doesn’t know it but we are homies. He was super cool and calm and was real “whatevs” but super professional and efficient at the same time. I saw him out of the corner of my eye during one of those “contractions” (we can all agree that what I endured should be called something else) and yelled, “I want to pull him out.” I’m pretty sure his response was “cool”. 

In case you were wondering, I didn’t die. Didn’t even come close. My health was actually stellar. We had another intimate birth-just me and The Mr. No one else’s opinions or interjections. We didn’t have as many tender moments as we did the first time around but there was a tether-an unearthly connection driving us to be far greater and endure far more than we ever imagined. It was almost visible it was so strong. Again, my birth coach surpassed all expectations and was a fabulous punching bag, literally. #clutch

That, my friends, was a merry Christmas night indeed. 

I’m Not Dead

I’m not Dead 

I’m sure many of you asked this-whether you were joking or seriously concerned, rest assured, I am not. Toddler chasing is a full-time job and real life doesn’t leave any room for anything else but sleep. I try to sneak in household chores and errands when I can, but sometimes even those can’t get done. It’s my life. I’m learning to love it.

 

May I also say I honestly and truly forgot how hard pregnancy can be on a body? I’m not complaining or even whining (yet), but it takes a lot to create a human while keeping another, who doesn’t value his life at all, alive. Anywho, my hope is to get several posts out to you regularly before number two comes along and yet another inevitable break.

 

One thing is for sure-I’ve missed you. I haven’t even met most of you, but sharing my life and you taking the time to read about it means the world to me. I’m thankful you haven’t given up on me.

 

Until next time…

 

New Year, New Planner

Hey loves!

We’ve discussed how weird I am, right? Well, in case you forgot, let me give you a refresher. My favorite part of the end of one year and the beginning of another-researching and getting a new planner. Oh. Sweet. Joy!
I feel inspired and rejuvenated! For the past two years, I’ve had a Paper Plum Planner and loved it. It was great. However, it wasn’t suiting all my needs being a SAHM now. I needing something that allowed for personalized daily sections and places to make list and stay organized with my stuff, baby stuff, house stuff and what my husband has going on. So the search continued. It was pretty bleak until Google images led to the Mom On The Go Planner. My life was forever changed from that moment. 

Not only does it have everything listed above, it has holiday planning guides- SERIOUSLY!!!! No extra sheets or printables needed. It has home goals finance trackers, note pages, pocket folder, plastic pouch and the list goes on. To top it all off, it’s the cutest thing ever. I also got some sweet new pens to plan away. I’m in heaven every week.  

My 3 drawbacks-
You can’t personalize the cover. They have different options for you to choose from but it’s not your name or monogram and the options on design are limited. But, I put my silhouette to work and added a monogram. 
The sheets are thin-about as thin as Paper Plum but I would like a heavy stationary. 
It starts on Jan. 3., not Jan. 1. My OCD couldn’t handle that. 
But that’s it. Those are my only issues! 
You know you want one. 
Here’s to an organized, very happy 2016!

  

Why I don’t share my kid on Social Media

Hey loves!

So, I got a text asking for a picture of my baby since “we are being Jay-Z and Beyoncé” and hiding him from the public. While I know she was just teasing and loves and respects me, I thought I should address why you won’t see our baby online.

The first reason we agreed on this was because we, as adults, made the decision to join social media platforms and choose what we share. We understand and can take whatever backlash we get. Our baby should have that same right and should be prepared for the perils that come with this decision. Not to mention, once that gate is open, there is no going back and, knowing me, I would share about 85 pictures of him a day.

The next reason solidified our choice-The crazy people in the world. Can we talk about Catfishing babies? Actually, let’s not. Just know that it happens and I didn’t want to put myself in a position to be a victim of it. I know I can’t protect my baby boy from everything and I can only prepare him so much but this …just ridiculous! So, we just thought it was best to keep him off.

Now, the third reason, some may call petty. Others, may see it as rude but most of y’all understand where we are coming from. We have so many people who love and support us right where we are; who text us regularly (because who has time to talk on the phone), send care packages, pray for us and just have our backs, ya know? Those people are invested in us and see our baby grow. Others, for whatever reason, chose to step out of our lives, not be there anymore and not do the work. Those people don’t get to have the same benefits as the people who do. It’s just that simple.

Now, I certainly don’t judge you for sharing pics of your babies and, sometimes, I look forward to them. This isn’t a lack-luster attempt to mommy-shame, I’m not about that bass. I walk in my truth and I want you to walk in yours.

Love you, mean it.

The Jonah in Me (and you)

Hey Loves!

I’m back with my third installment of the She Shares Truth Challenge by She Reads Truth. This week we are studying Jonah 1 and 2 and I am stoked!

Pretty much everyone knows about Jonah and The Whale. I thought I did. Clearly, my children’s church lesson didn’t stick because reading these two (very short) biblical chapters are way more intense than I remember.

Jonah, a normal Hebrew, was going through life the best way he knew, following and praising God. However, when that wasn’t working for him anymore, he literally ran away.

Let me clarify, Jonah, very much like you and I, was a good person and a good Christian BUT when God specifically asked him to do one thing that was out of his comfort zone, he tried to outrun (rather out sail) and hide from God.

Sound familiar? Maybe not the hopping in a boat and sailing miles away but maybe saying:

“God, I can’t do that!”
“God, I’m not doing that!”
“God, You can’t ask me to do that!”

I’m guilty of all three actually. Jonah paid for his disobedience and lack of faith by having a proverbial “time-out” in the belly of a whale for a few days. I paid for my disobedience too. Thankfully, it was inland.

Like Jonah, God empowers us for whatever task He has planned. We can handle it because God gives us the strength, patience, time and words to do so. Today, I urge you to say yes to God. Say yes to your calling and trust Him. I promise, He has His best interest at heart, not ours, and that’s a wonderful thing– for you and me to be used for His best interest.

My Morning Routine

Hey Loves!

My morning routine was recently published. Find out how I start my day below. Like, comment and share!

Tenikca Gainey’s Morning Routine

Tenikca Gainey is a vegetarian naturalista who’s in her element when writing, crafting, cooking, and working out. As a proud wife of over three years, she works every day to become better, sharing her hits and misses along the way.

What is your morning routine?

I normally wake up around 6:35am and mentally get a grasp on my day.

I see my husband out the door and head to the gym any time between 7:15 and 7:30 a few days a week, normally three, as I like to run some afternoons. I will also work out at home once a week and do chores on Friday mornings.

How long have you stuck with this routine so far?

I gave up sleeping in for Lent so I have been up with the chickens since Ash Wednesday.

How has your morning routine changed over recent years?

My morning routine has changed due to obligations (work, class, other commitments) and the fact that for a very long time, I despised waking up. Giving up sleeping in for Lent has made me much more productive throughout the day and I now look forward to ‘taking on the day’.

What time do you go to sleep?

On a great night, I am asleep no later than 10:00pm. 11:00pm is late for me, and if I continue going to bed that late it soon catches up with me.

Thursday nights keep up me up past my bedtime (thanks to Scandal and Greys) so I really try to hit the sack early every other night.

Do you use an alarm to wake you up in the mornings, and if so do you ever hit the snooze button?

Yes, from my phone. I hit the snooze button probably too many times.

How soon after waking up do you have breakfast, and what do you typically have?

I normally have breakfast around 9:00am when I get to work. I switch up between oatmeal, yogurt, fruit or a baked good such as a whole wheat muffin. I occasionally have tea or coffee and will sometimes treat myself to Starbucks if I complete my chores or workout early enough.

Do you have a morning workout routine?

Yes. I try to hit the gym no less than three mornings a week.

When I took a break from running, I was at the gym four days a week. Now that I have sustained a running injury I alternate weight training and stretching (like yoga) 4-5 days a week to stay fit.

How about morning meditation?

I pray every morning and use the time between me waking up and getting out of bed to center myself and mentally prepare for the day ahead of me.

Do you see to email first thing in the morning, or leave it until later in the day?

I used to. I stopped that at the end of last year. My head would be a mess and full of every sale item and request and whatever else.

Now, I check my email around 9:00am.

How soon do you check your phone in the morning, either for calls/messages or social media and news?

I don’t check for missed calls, texts, or news alerts, but I do check social media either right before the gym or when I am warming up.

What are your most important tasks in the morning?

Praying, seeing my husband out the door, working out, and not getting to work too late.

What and when is your first drink in the morning?

I will have water and/or an energy drink before, during, and after the gym. I don’t have coffee or tea until later.

On days you’re not settled in your own home, are you able to adapt any of your routine to fit in with a different environment?

It is VERY difficult.

Most times when I am in these situations it is either for civic duty or a weekend trip. In those events I have a schedule to adhere to which makes a bit easier to adjust.

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