MomCation- The Rest

Hey Loves!

So, yes, I ate more in 4 days than I have in 4 months but that was not the intent of this escape. Respite, refilling and rest was the intent and I think I understood the assignment.

For starters, I didn’t know I needed this amount of mental rest I got. I can’t quantify it, but not being “on” all hours of the day, every day was a vacation in itself.

Then, I caught up on sleep. Like, I took a nap every day. I also took extremely long very very hot showers just because I could.

I needed a break. The thing is,, I waited too long to take this break so by the time I got here, I was beyond depleted. There really wasn’t any to “refill” because my well was bone dry. I needed just filling. So, I did that through actual rest-lots of naps- and sleep, mental respite from literally going slow and being off.

My goal is to make every effort to do this annually and find ways to radically refill quarterly so I won’t be this depleted again.

The Birthday Blues

Hey Loves!

If you’ve known me for a bit, you know my kids birthdays were like the saddest days ever. I was honestly in mourning. “How did it go so fast? Why did it go so fast? It’s going to fast!” I would lament through sobs. 

And then Jude was born on Christmas and for some reason, that made the birthdays easier. That is, until we were about a month out from James’ 5th birthday and those “birthday blues” starting showing up in full force. I was just about to succumb to them, wallow in my grief and hopefully return back to normalcy one day when I paused and really thought about why it was especially James’ birthday that brought out these emotions and I realized why. 

Nearly my  entire life I’ve been begging people to, “choose me”, “see me” and/or “love me” without ever doing any of those myself, for myself. Then came this human that I grew IN MY BODY that, without me even uttering a word, chose me, saw me and loved me. No lie,  Which brought on another thought, I think his birthdays made me sad because he would soon discover I was a fraud. Yes I read all these books and stalked blogs but I was clueless. I had zero confidence, zero self-love and very little pure joy except that of moments with that sweet baby…who was growing way too fast. 

I always say giving birth to James gave me life because learning to protect and advocate for him was a re-birth. I grew my mama bear spirit and confidence I never had. James gave me life and Jude saved my life because not only did I have another bout of post-partum anxiety but I also had bad post-partum depression after he was born. The kind that was masked by smiles, laughs, cute outfits and showing up playing a role. I would only get out of bed to protect my kids. I didn’t even look in mirrors… until the damn broke. I started counseling, I opened up more and I started eating better and exercising. I started meditating and journaling. 

It made me a better person, a better advocate, a better mom and a better friend to me. I fell in love with myself and wasn’t begging people to give me what I couldn’t give myself anymore. I was showing up for me, finally. 

So, after all that reflection the sadness was gone. He’s not gonna find out I’m a fraud. I hope, if nothing he understands how grateful I am to him for his grace and love. For smiling each morning after I messed up so many days before. I hope he understands the great privilege to having front-row seats to watching me fall in love with myself and know he was the catalyst.  So, yeah, I’m probably still gonna cry. I’m probably still gonna sneak in and watch him sleep one last 5 year-old-sleep but I won’t be sad. I’ll be in awe of how our wonderful journey has taken shape and stay in fervent prayer about future endeavors. 

“ Goodnight you moonlight ladies

Rockabye sweet baby James

Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose

Won’t you let me go down in my dreams

And rockabye sweet baby James”

My Favorite Things

Hey Loves!

We’ve chatted so much about homeschool the last few months I feel like I’ve neglected to share all the other parts of my life with you. Tsk, tsk, tsk. We can’t have that, can we?

A couple of years ago, I shared my favorite things and I wanted to update that list! Here we go:

Yeti Coffee Mug: I know, I rarely suggest something with a specific brand. Hear me out. I have tried the more inexpensive alternatives and they just don’t match up. I got this coffee mug as my teacher gift last year and it is a delight. I can make coffee at 4:30 a.m. and take a swig at 7:30 and it still is hot! I mean, how many of us have been there- reheat the coffee forget about the coffee, reheat it again only to not be able to finish it, and then have to re-start this cycle again or give up entirely. This eliminates that!

Ear Buds: When then Pandemic continued, I realized I hadn’t listened to a single book or podcast because I rarely had a one time and I wasn’t in the car as much. I tried the wired-headphones but ran into two problems: 1-They were wired which meant I was always holding my phone in hand my phone on my person, and, 2- with my daith pierced, they didn’t fit (not that they ever fit well). I hunted for months for wireless earbuds that would allow hands-free listening but not block out other surrounding noise because I am a mom and I need to hear. I found these as Best Buy and for what I needed, plus working out, I am sold! They are a great price, hold a charge, and work amazingly well.

Eucalyptus Sprays: To be clear, I never once considered myself-high maintenance before the Pandemic. Not once. But once things closed I realized my self-care game was stepped way up from previous years and very soon I was hurting for some pampering. Enter eucalyptus sprays. I used this tutorial to attach Trader Joe’s eucalyptus to my shower head and y’all. Showers are now a mini trip to the spa. Bless.

Plants: This may seem basic but did you know that plants naturally filter the air??? I had no idea. When I found out I had to get over myself and make myself believe I could keep plants alive. I now have 6, (4 of which are thriving and 2 that are in and out of proverbial ICU) all named after Black Female Olympians and I am in heaven. They are so peaceful and bring such joy. I use my young living products to keep the bugs away and keep leaves shiny. I can’t wait to get some more!

Mom’s Morning Basket: If you follow me on socials (if not, join me!), you’ve probably seen this highlight about my morning baskets. Yes, plural. This is a no-judgment zone, remember? These baskets are a for-real game-changer though. In them I have books, bible studies, a bible, all the journals, and some hand-lettering guides and markers to keep me grounded and get me so full, I overflow. I love how it is all handy, organized, and easily accessible.

Facial Steamer: Just so we are clear here, I’ve never considered myself high maintenance. Just re-stating this for consistency purposes. Now, people around me may disagree but we aren’t talking about them. To me, a need to steam one’s face seemed a bit over the top. That is, until, I learned 3 fundamental truths at the exact same time. Number 1. I am not getting younger and there’s nothing I can do to change that. 2. Even though I have that “uncrackable Black skin”, I need to take care of it. 3. Taking care of my skin doesn’t make me “high maintenance”. (I also learned that high maintenance isn’t a bad thing. I made that up thanks to societal norms.) So, I got a facial steamer for Mother’s Day and in the few months that I’ve used it, I can say my pores are delighted. I will also say this will lead to you wanted to up all your skincare routines. All of them. 

Young Living Essential Oils and Other Products: Y’all! These products have changed the game. If you’ve been here for a bit, you know I’ve always used oils, tried to have clean products, etc. Well, I finally plunged into Young Living Last March and these oils are a level-up. Not just for me-my husband, my kids, and our home. I use Thieves cleaner every day. I use a DIY product from the essential oils every day. I use oils and wellness products every day. I could go on and on but I won’t. You can see how I use them here. You can learn more here

What didn’t make the list? Well things that are still my favorite that I honestly don’t ever want to change. I am still vey much in love with dark chocolate, Malbec, coffee and nail polish. I don’t want to see a day when those aren’t my favorite things. Like, not ever.

What are your favorite things? Anything I am missing out on?

Love you. Mean it.

Quarantine Couples Connection

Hey Loves!

What week is this? I honestly have no idea. I do know that I am refocused, again, and trying my best to not look back and regret how I spent this time. I got a good groove of not rushing and re-establishing a base line of busy with the kids but quality couple-time was lacking! In short, before the #stayhome orders and pandemic life, the time my husband and I spent together and connected, whether it was 20 minuets or 2 hours, we didn’t have kids around we were rarely in our house. You see the problem?

Enter re-adjustments and more readjustments, friends.

Here is what had to happen.

1, Talk It Out: That’s right, peeps. Even after you’ve been in the same dwelling all day for a few months, you’ve collapsed asleep next to each other only to do the same thing the next day and the next. Now, you have to make time (which sounds crazy given our current state) and have a good ‘ole chat session. Discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly. Note, I said discuss not go for each other’s throats, Mortal Kombat style. Next, don’t stop at discussion, you’ve got to make a tangible action plan so each party has responsibilities and you all feel heard. Got it? Great.

2. Make A Plan: Legit, y’all. Plan dates, times, activities, food, etc. Don’t let a stone go unturned. I would advise one to maybe not go crazy and try everything they see on the interwebs… this may, or may not, be from personal experience.

Now to ideas!

  1. Virtual Double Date: That’s right! Contact your fav couple friends, select a date and time, and connect via google hangout or the Houseparty app! You all can do a movie night, guided painting via YouTube, game night (heads up, anyone?), dinner, or just a solid Kiki!
  2. Dessert and Drinks: I mean, do I need to explain here? Get simple or get fancy. Order in or make it at-home. There are so many possibilities here, it is not even funny.
  3. Make a “Pandemic Is Over” Bucket List: I know every state is different but maybe there is something you are definitely doing when it safe. Make it a date to make a list! Take it up a notch by doing the research and planning as much as you can so you can set the plans in motion as soon as it is safe.
  4. Movie Night: I know, the world has been “Nextflix and Chilling” for some years now but let’s elevate it! Rent a movie from various web retailers, make the popcorn of your dreams, grab all the movie snacks, and enjoy! The added plus is this can be way less expensive than actually going to the movies!
  5. Loom Journals: This is new to us and I am already in love. The Loom Couples Connection Journal allows each person to answer prompts, some related to your relationship and some not so much, once a week. It is designed by “relationship experts” with a goal to get couples connecting while making an “heirLOOM”. Get it? If this isn’t exactly your style, you can grab a blank journal and simply write love letters back and forth!
  6. Get Active: Head out on a hike, a walk, or do a workout together. This a great time to catch up and encourage each other.

Hope this helps y’all connect and come out this stronger!

Love you. And you. Mean it.

It’s a Rhythm, Not a Schedule

 

Hey Loves!

So many of you have either started school or preparing for school in a much different way than ever before. I can’t imagine all the questions that are in your head but the question I get asked the most is, “what is your schedule?” Then I have to disappoint a mama when my response is, “We don’t have one.” Here’s why. 

If you know me, you know I love a good schedule. Yes, down to the minute, planned fluidly, packed with incredible things until I fall asleep, also scheduled, to wake up and do it all over again. However, my kids don’t work like that and, per my research, many kids don’t work like that. 

Truth moment: After realizing that trying to make them work with my schedule and creating 52 different schedules didn’t work, I gave up on schedules all together. I’m sure literally threw my hands up. There’s no shocker that no schedule was just as bad as trying to make them fit in my schedule. 

What helped? What was the relief? Creating a rhythm, and no I’m talking about a dope beat. 

I’m talking about a regular flow of activities and transitions in a home that becomes habitual but is easily done at a different time if needed because it is much easier for one to fall back into a rhythm than get used to a different schedule. 

I discuss it all here in this youtube video and discussing our morning rhythm here. I need you to know this didn’t happen overnight. There were trials, lots of errors, and lots of trying again. 

Through that, I was constantly reminded that these rhythms had to flow with my home- the people in it, our values, and memory-making. Not making our home fit with the rhythm.

I also learned that our days are better when I submit to the needs of my kids. Before you exit this post hear me out: When I say, “submit to the needs of my kids”, I most certainly don’t mean neglect my needs, my husband’s, our marriage, or something urgent. I also don’t mean my kids are “in charge.” I mean that I remove myself-my wants, my desires, how I would respond, how I feel typical children should respond- from how I meet their needs and submitting myself to consoling, educating, and training them on the matter at hand. 

For example, in our rhythm, if it’s is time for outside play, I can see them seeking for input but it is monsoon rain pouring outside, I can’t make them do what I would do-cozy up with a throw, sit still, be quiet and just be. They literally can’t right now. Submitting to their needs means to stay with the rhythm so they feel safe, free play meeting input needs, and then finding a way to give them the input, so I get up and do movement activities, put on YouTube movement playlist and hit up Cosmic Kids Yoga. 

I also want to say this, your rhythm probably won’t look like ours and that’s ok! In fact, I implore it because I was your rhythm to be a beat of your home, not mines. 

Any other rhythm questions? 

Love you. Mean it. 

Interview with BabyDevotions

Hey Loves!

I had the honor to do an interview all about my homeschool journey with an awesome friend and #momgoals Kayla Alonso of baby devotions.com, a website packed full of amazing tools, tips and tricks for discipling your little one. In short, she is the kindest genius ever. Check out my interview here!

Love you. Mean it.

10 Pantry and Freezer Meals That Aren’t Spaghetti

Hey Loves!

How goes it? Really, how are you handling the madness? These times are crazy, the grocery stores are crazier, and maybe, you are also going a tiny bit stir-crazy? Maybe? If so, know you are in the vast majority. 

If you are new here, you should know I consider myself a minimalist in my head. (You should also know actual minimalists probably would not consider me a minimalist). So, I never really had more food than we should eat in two weeks just hanging out in my pantry or my freezer, only a few extras because my kids are never satiated and if I don’t double a recipe, there are no leftovers.

Then, the world went left, I succumbed to fear, let anxiety take over and now I have a month worth of food in my house. I am out of my depth here so to quell my mind, I came up with some good things – good for us and good to us – we could eat from our over-stocked pantry and freezer that aren’t just pasta and jarred sauce and thought I would share.

Before we begin, these are not recipes. I repeat, these are not recipes. I am not a chef. In fact, I very rarely follow recipes. I am one of those who “eye-ball it”, season to taste and always add garlic. So, I will share the recipe that inspired these meals to help you out, mmkay? Let’s do this!

  1. Pasta a la Vodka Sauce: I do add onion and garlic to this and sometimes I’ll add fresh spinach that I froze after purchasing, so frozen spinach. Obvi, all of that is optional. I make this vegan by using coconut milk. I discovered coconut milk actually tastes very good in this dish by trial, as I did not have any other non-dairy milk on hand. If you don’t drink or vodka isn’t your cup of tea, vodka has lots of other preservative properties and good to have on hand. Recipe inspiration.
  2. Creamy Cajun Pasta: Stock of choice, pasta. You can add meat to this. Veggies for us are a must soooooo onion garlic, frozen peppers and if you like them, mushrooms. Mix all with cooked pasta of choice. Recipe inspiration.
  3. Red Beans and Rice: Rice, cooked “red” kidney beans, frozen peppers, stock of choice, instant pot and Viola! Recipe inspiration.
  4. Enchilada Pasta, Enchilada casserole and/or, Enchiladas: I know what you are thinking, “don’t they have cheese?” Well, most often times, yes. But since we don’t really eat cheese, we skip it. I do make a faux cheese sometimes though! Recipe inspiration.
  5. Chickpea Masala with Rice: I would love to tell you from personal experience this was amazing but since my husband and kids ate it all in 3.65 seconds, we will just have to go with their review. “It is so yummy!” Recipe inspiration.
  6. Black Bean Tacos: Canned black beans, stock of choice, seasoning (I use salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder and garlic powder or TJ’s Chili Lime Seasoning.), simmer. Make some rice. Add some corn. Get taco shells, prepare per usual. Layer rice, beans, corn in a taco shell, top with salsa. (Yes, if you have refrigerated items that you want to add, add them but I am sticking with the “pantry/freezer items” only theme here.) Recipe inspiration.
  7. Minestrone Soup: Easiest soup ever!!! Honestly, I only make easy soups so I guess that not entirely true but you get the gist? I also have not met a canned soup I enjoy so I have nothing to compare this too. Plus, you don’t get all the yucky ingredients that are typically in canned soups. Chop some onion and garlic, or don’t. Add frozen veggies (zucchini for me please!) Or don’t. Dump canned beans (I do cannellini and kidney), stock and seasoning. Done. Recipe inspiration.
  8. Coconut Rice Buddha Bowl: Coconut rice is BOMB! That top with chickpeas, sautéed onion, frozen spinach and any other frozen vegetable (I love sweet potato), YUM!!! You can also sub frozen cauli rice. Recipe inspiration.
  9. Sheet Pan Fajitas: So obvi, you’ll need a sheet pan, cauliflower, and fajita veggies. Preheat oven, place frozen cauliflower, peppers and onion and on the sheet pan. Drizzle Olive oil, season, toss, put in the oven, When cooked, place on a tortilla of choice, top with salsa if you like and enjoy a happy tummy.  Recipe inspiration.
  10. Burritos: See numbers 6 and 9, do all or what you want, roll in a tortilla. Done. Recipe inspiration.

Bonus! I had to add a favorite in our house, Pancakes. Non-dairy milk, flaxseed egg, flour, baking soda and baking powder, salt, etc. Sub applesauce for banana and GF flour blend. We use coconut oil spray on the griddle to prepare them. They are devoured and doubling this recipe is a must.  Recipe inspiration.

Alright peeps, stay well and do your best to stay sane.

Love you. Mean it.

My Favorite Things- Dry Brushing

Hey Loves!

Can I just say two things? 1. I never knew I would have a favorite things list. The thought never entered my mind. 2. I never thought I’d be sharing it with you!
Thanks for reading!

Now, let’s get to business. Have you heard of dry brushing? If you haven’t, it is ok. I had no idea what it was or the fact that it was a concept until my friend shared about it in her blog. Mind. Blown.

After reading her post, it occurred to me that we do the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol for our boys and I was shocked to find out something similar existed for adults not presenting with sensory complications. When I read up on the benefits, I couldn’t resist. Off to Target, I went for a drive-up purchase of this Eco Tools body brush. Then, I did thorough research, meaning I watched several YouTube videos, to find a routine that would work for me. Finally, I brushed.

Friends, it felt like I had new skin. Brand-stinking-new skin! For those of you who might be confused, that’s a good thing. I also really enjoy the satisfaction of doing good for my body. I mean, you only get one, so taking care of it is essential.

I typically dry brush about 3-5 times a week. There are times when life happens and I can’t brush as often as I would like. During those times, I crave it. It’s like my body is accustomed to dry brushing and will not stand for less. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh,” is what my body says after I dry brush. I may or may not audibly join in. Either way, it feels sooooooooooo good!

Do you dry brush? If not, will you start? You must!

Love you. Mean it!!!